I wanted to SCREAM when I saw this…

It was in my inbox with the subject line reading “Life is short–have a discreet affair!” I wanted to scream! I wanted to shout: “Life IS short–so do it right!” In all my 30 years of marriage counseling I have never ONCE heard anyone in my office say they were glad they had an affair–but I have heard MANY speak of how sorely they regret it. What can you do to guard against this temptation?

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Learn This One Principle and Change Your Life For The Better!

Driving home from visiting our daughter in Tulsa yesterday, we drove by colorfully adorned fields of green giving way to the auburn milo and back to the green again. The various crops, each with their unique beauty, are part of what makes the mid-west a wonder to behold. They also speak of a very simple but life-changing concept for all who will hear…

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The Single Most Helpful Step To Process Conflict:

Over the weekend my wife and I processed two areas of conflict between us. In both instances they occurred LARGELY because of a failure to hear, understand, and appreciate the other person’s perspective. Let me explain what happened in one example, and show the positive outcome of taking this single most helpful step to process conflict.

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A Fire In the Kitchen!

The single must frustrating and grieving part of my job as a marriage counselor is this: most couples put off coming to see me until their situation is so bad, it is nearly impossible to turn it around. It is like waiting until their house is nearly burnt to the ground before they call the Fire Department. Over and over again, I think: “why didn’t you come to see me, when there was simply a fire in the kitchen?”  Here are three reasons people wait and three actions to take instead:

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Short, Simple, Powerful To Do

One evening not too long ago, I was kind of grumpy. I told my wife I was in a bad mood and just needed to go to bed and get over it. It wasn’t any profound therapeutic advice I gave myself. I just needed sleep. I knew that I would either wake up with a new outlook or have more strength to carry on. Sometimes it is that simple. Not always, but sometimes. Here’s another simple exercise:

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I Need Your Help PLUS the Preface to my ebook

Preface:

For nearly 30 years, I have listened to the stories and struggles of husbands and wives. As a marriage and family counselor, it is a humbling opportunity each time I am invited into the private world of a couple.

In recent years, I have observed two dynamics taking place in marriages with increased frequency:

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Star Trek and Your Marriage!

Over the weekend I went to see Star Trek Into Darkness with one of our extra girls who has become like a daughter. It was a great flick. But it was not until the very end – and I mean the very end – that I really learned something important. You see, while I am ready to leave as soon as the movie is over, she likes to remain until all the credits are over! I could never understand why until this time when I asked. Here is how she replied, what I learned, and how it relates to your marriage and family:

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Are YOU Standing For Your Marriage?

Heroes – that is what I think of them.  Men and women who have stood for their marriage when everyone thought they were crazy. I don’t even know how they did it except by the grace of God. I think of two men who stood for their marriage and yet their wives left them.  I think of several women who stood for the same, and God brought reconciliation. I think of another marriage where one spouse has stood for years, even though separated. Things went from worse to worser and worsest. (Excuse the vernacular!) And finally they have taken a turn for the better. It reminded me of the following declaration I once read. I would like to dedicate this to the heroes past and present who are standing for their marriage!

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12 Must Have Marriage Resources

Over the course of my life, God has enabled me to connect with and learn from some of the wisest leaders in our nation when it comes to marriage, family, and relationships. If could deposit all I have come to know and learn, directly in to your heart and mind, I would do it in a heartbeat. I deeply desire for you to know and experience relationships with your spouse and children as I have with mine. Following is my “must ;have” list of resources that give the greatest insights in to what it takes to have a great marriage.

12 marriage resources

As strongly as I can, I urge you to take heed and read/study each one. Make it a goal to get each of the resources and build a library from which you can glean that which you need again and again.

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Three Lessons On Marriage From a Tornado

Saturday I went to Moore, OK with First Mennonite Brethren Church in Wichita, to help with those who lost their homes in the tornado. We worked with a great group of guys from ARC (Allied Response to Catastrophe.) It was a very stirring, overwhelming, and thought provoking experience. Below are two photos (before and after) of Plaza Towers Elementary School and surrounding houses. Following the photos, are three lessons on marriage that emerged from my thoughts:

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