What Helped Me In Saying Good-bye To My Daughter:

I said good bye to my oldest daughter this past weekend as I helped her move to California.I have said good bye to her before, but this time was one of the hardest.  I think it’s partly because of knowing she is going to a school of ministry to prepare for her next move–that of living overseas in India, Africa, and where ever else the Lord leads. On our second day of driving from Kansas to California, I told my daughter there is one thing that makes her journey doable for me…

Continue Reading »

Short, Simple, Powerful To Do

One evening not too long ago, I was kind of grumpy. I told my wife I was in a bad mood and just needed to go to bed and get over it. It wasn’t any profound therapeutic advice I gave myself. I just needed sleep. I knew that I would either wake up with a new outlook or have more strength to carry on. Sometimes it is that simple. Not always, but sometimes. Here’s another simple exercise:

Continue Reading »

When I was angry at my wife I had to recognize three things:

It happened yesterday in the airport. We were on our way home from Miami where we had a great time visiting our son. I was tired and wanting some food – it was 4:45 in the morning. Zerrin had gone off to get something to eat and drink while I watched our bags. When she finally got back, I was impatient and a bit snarly. I know you probably never get that way.

I still do at times…less and less I hope, but it still happens on occasion. When it does, we must come to recognize three things:  (WARNING:  you may not like my first point.)

Continue Reading »

“I wrote a book too” – God.

I don’t know about you but writing isn’t easy – at least not for me. I labor over the words and word order to do the best I can at saying what is in my heart. And yet I write because I want to make a difference. I want to take what God has given me and pass it on to you in hopes of it being a true source of encouragement. My promise to you, my reader, is this:

Continue Reading »

It’s Not Over Yet! Four Things to Remember:

I had been working with a couple through a great number of difficulties. Both were very committed to the process and working hard. He was fighting his own battles both past and present; she was fighting hers. At one point she was particularly distressed, struggling to keep moving forward. It was then a thought came to mind to share with them:

Continue Reading »

Are YOU Standing For Your Marriage?

Heroes – that is what I think of them.  Men and women who have stood for their marriage when everyone thought they were crazy. I don’t even know how they did it except by the grace of God. I think of two men who stood for their marriage and yet their wives left them.  I think of several women who stood for the same, and God brought reconciliation. I think of another marriage where one spouse has stood for years, even though separated. Things went from worse to worser and worsest. (Excuse the vernacular!) And finally they have taken a turn for the better. It reminded me of the following declaration I once read. I would like to dedicate this to the heroes past and present who are standing for their marriage!

Continue Reading »

12 Must Have Marriage Resources

Over the course of my life, God has enabled me to connect with and learn from some of the wisest leaders in our nation when it comes to marriage, family, and relationships. If could deposit all I have come to know and learn, directly in to your heart and mind, I would do it in a heartbeat. I deeply desire for you to know and experience relationships with your spouse and children as I have with mine. Following is my “must ;have” list of resources that give the greatest insights in to what it takes to have a great marriage.

12 marriage resources

As strongly as I can, I urge you to take heed and read/study each one. Make it a goal to get each of the resources and build a library from which you can glean that which you need again and again.

Continue Reading »

Three Lessons On Marriage From a Tornado

Saturday I went to Moore, OK with First Mennonite Brethren Church in Wichita, to help with those who lost their homes in the tornado. We worked with a great group of guys from ARC (Allied Response to Catastrophe.) It was a very stirring, overwhelming, and thought provoking experience. Below are two photos (before and after) of Plaza Towers Elementary School and surrounding houses. Following the photos, are three lessons on marriage that emerged from my thoughts:

Continue Reading »

For Women Only: Become Your Husband’s Greatest Source of Encouragement by Keeping Four Things In Mind

Often when sitting with couples in my office I find myself thinking “they just don’t understand each other.”  He doesn’t get what she longs for most; she doesn’t know how to come alongside to encourage him.  Here are four ideas for a wife to keep in mind about her husband:

Continue Reading »