I Like Being Around My Wife Again!

It’s so crazy. I am the one who teaches on conflict and how to resolve it. I do this every day of the week! And yet when I am in conflict it is still hard even for me and brings a multitude of emotions.  Here’s what I mean:

How to work through conflict with your spouse.

One day last week, my wife and one of my girls began to talk with me about something in me they didn’t understand and were frustrated about. We talked for almost an hour. I had all kinds of emotions. When they first brought it up, I felt kind of attacked–not hugely, but kinda.

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4 Steps To Love Better In Conflict

I know of couples who straight out go for the jugular when they fight with each other. Emotions escalate and so do they. Then there are those who are split: one wants to get to the bottom of things NOW and the other does everything they can to run the other direction. And finally, there are those couples in which neither party really wants to engage, so they both tend to put off dealing with conflict. Zerrin and I tend to fall more in this last camp. Here are some action steps to take regardless of how you deal with conflict:

4 Steps to Love Better while in conflict. Must print for later! http://madlyinlove.org/4-steps-love-better-conflict/

Step #1: Consider Your Conflict Style

Why do you tend to deal with conflict the way you do? What good (or bad) examples have you learned from? These are very important questions to ask. They can lead to much personal insight. The more you clarify why, the more power you will have to change.

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8 Rules of Engagement for Fighting Fair

In times of war there is something known as Rules Of Engagement (ROE). According to GlobalSecurity.org, they are “directives issued by competent military authority which delineate the circumstances and limitations under which United States forces will initiate and/or continue combat engagement with other forces encountered.”

Rules of Engagement

Recently I thought married couples should be practicing rules of engagement when it comes to interpersonal conflict!

Here are 8 Rules of Engagement to ensure you’re always fighting fair:

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When Conflict Happens: PAUSE and do this FIRST

When conflict happens, the first and most important step to keep in mind is this: put everything on pause–until you are able to talk about it in a healthy manner.

We all know the experience of trying to talk things out in the heat of the moment–it only makes matters worse! You have been there. I have been there. It doesn’t work.

So what then?

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I Need Your Help PLUS the Preface to my ebook

Preface:

For nearly 30 years, I have listened to the stories and struggles of husbands and wives. As a marriage and family counselor, it is a humbling opportunity each time I am invited into the private world of a couple.

In recent years, I have observed two dynamics taking place in marriages with increased frequency:

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