How I Chose The Title of My Book

One day I asked my wife and kids to think and pray with me, that together we might come up with a name for my book that would speak forth a message and mean something of significance. One hour later, we had the title! The PLEDGE of a Lifetime!

3D Book Image_softcover (small)


A pledge is a spoken commitment, a formal declaration of a promise or agreement to do or refrain from doing something. Examples would include a pledge to send aid to a country or a pledge not to go to war.

Continue Reading »

4 Reasons Why I Wrote A Book

Well in case you missed it – we are SO excited that we are FINALLY nearing the launch of my book entitled The PLEDGE of a Lifetime! If you missed our announcement and exciting ways to get involved, go HERE. In fact, we would love for you to help us get the word out by joining one of three teams. By doing so we will send you a FREE pdf copy of the book and an invite to our launch party! Go HERE to learn how you can become a part of the team!

3D Book Image_softcover (small)

Over the next few weeks I am going to be writing about the book, and answer a few questions you might have.

Today I want to tell you WHY I wrote it.

Every day I awake, I thank God for another day of life–and I seek to spend it most purposefully. I am acutely aware that life is fleeting–we have no promise of tomorrow. Because of that I want to do my best to make each day count the most.

So why spend hundreds of hours writing a book? Four reasons:

Continue Reading »

7 Things to Practice As You Deal With The Small Stuff

At a lunch last week I heard a man speak about keeping “short accounts” with his wife – meaning they would talk about most everything that created disharmony in their relationship – even if it was simply an unkind or harsh tone of voice. Does that sound absurd? I hope not. It is probably one of the healthiest aspects of marriage if done well.

7 Tips for Conflict

Here are 7 ideas to keep in mind:

Continue Reading »

I Like Being Around My Wife Again!

It’s so crazy. I am the one who teaches on conflict and how to resolve it. I do this every day of the week! And yet when I am in conflict it is still hard even for me and brings a multitude of emotions.  Here’s what I mean:

How to work through conflict with your spouse.

One day last week, my wife and one of my girls began to talk with me about something in me they didn’t understand and were frustrated about. We talked for almost an hour. I had all kinds of emotions. When they first brought it up, I felt kind of attacked–not hugely, but kinda.

Continue Reading »

EEK! I Have Created Monsters!

Recently within a period of 5 days, I had a daughter, my son, and my wife all come to me separately telling my they had been frustrated or hurt by me. After the third person I found myself thinking:  “EEK! I have created monsters!”  Let me explain.

If you have been reading my email/blog posts, you know that one of the main topics I write about is how to process all conflict big or small in a manner governed by love. Through doing so, we learn how in fact to enhance all conversation every day.

Continue Reading »

ENGAGE to Win Together

We all know the experience of someone being frustrated at us and feeling like we have been completely misunderstood. Most of us have also experienced the humiliation when we assumed something about another and later found out we were wrong.

Misperception is one of the biggest reasons conflict begins and escalates. The only way for misperceptions to be cleared up is for both parties to be willing to engage to win together, in a back and forth process long enough to find resolve by listening to and seeking to understand the other person’s perspective. There is a revealing story…

Continue Reading »

GIVE: A Simple Idea to Improve Communication

Do you remember the book entitled:  All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten? Anyone who has been a parent or worked with children knows the experience of instructing them about taking turns.

When there is only one toy or one swing, only one child can enjoy it at a time. Each child must learn to put the other child first. Without knowing, they give to each other a gift. It is a gift of freedom to play and laugh or use the toy without someone else demanding their own way NOW.

Though not always easy to accept, it is nevertheless one of those vitally important Kindergarten lessons to learn for all of life. Perhaps nowhere do we as adults need to re-learn this lesson than when it comes to conflict. Here’s what I mean:

Continue Reading »

DISARM Conflict – Here’s How:

How important is it for you to be understood by another? When was the last time someone communicated to you that what you said had validity? What was that like?

If you are similar to me–it is huge. I am SO grateful for whenever someone takes the time to listen and validate in some way what I have said. There is something that happens deep inside me–a settling experience where I feel significantly cared for by another. Unfortunately I don’t see this happen very often when I watch people communicate. Here is the amazing affect that validation can have when it comes to disarming conflict:

Continue Reading »

ECHO – A Must in Listening Skills!

I once spoke with a man who was a supervisor in a nuclear power plant. As a matter of protocol, whenever he gave anyone instructions, the person listening would have to echo back what was said to make sure they heard it correctly. That made sense to me–you don’t want to get it wrong when it comes to a nuclear reactor! I mean we don’t want it to blow up or anything, right?

Then I thought, what about the nuclear family? We don’t want that to blow up either! What if developing good listening skills between husband and wife, and parents and children required echoing back what the other said–particularly when working through conflict? Here is what I mean:

Continue Reading »