5 Keys to Loving Well When You Talk To Your Spouse

Recently when talking to my brother, we both shared separate stories of a childhood memory where words were said to us in a very demeaning manner. I was in 8th grade when a teacher ridiculed me in front of the whole class because I didn’t know the definition of a word. I remember feeling utterly ashamed. I wanted to disappear. Why did he do that? Why wasn’t he considerate of the effect that might have had on me? Why aren’t we all much more attentive to what we say and how we say it? What should we keep in mind the most when communicating so that we can positively affect and love others well?

5 keys to Loving Well

There is a proverb that says: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Think about that. The very words you and I use each and every day are words that can injure, wound, shame, destroy, and bring death. OR they can bring forth LIFE! Our words can encourage, help, comfort, build up, strengthen, give direction, and heal!

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24 Seconds – The Story Continues!

24 seconds! Only 24 seconds today and the bed was made! You may have read my earlier blogs about making the bed in the morning. I don’t like doing it but one day I realized it only took 47 seconds–so it’s doable and a blessing to my wife. Then one day we found it only took 17 seconds, when we did it together. Teamwork! It’s great for building connection in marriage. BUT today I did it myself in 24 SECONDS and was reminded that life is all about…

24 seconds

FOCUS! Life is all about focus. I stayed totally focused while counting down the seconds and it made a huge difference (relatively speaking.) I cut my all time solo record in half.  Woot! Woot!

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I Saw Love This Weekend!

Throughout my life I have deeply appreciated and respected all five sets of my Aunts and Uncles – each one very true to their faith and to their spouse/family. Each one has been a model and hope for Zerrin and I as we continue to forge our way through life. This past weekend I spent some time in Dallas with my Aunt LaVonne and Uncle Don who is 88. While visiting, I saw a dimension of love that deeply stirred and challenged me…

Don & LaVonne Campbell. Don is former Professor and President of Dallas Theological Seminary.

Don & LaVonne Campbell. Don is former Professor and President of Dallas Theological Seminary.

You see, my Aunt has that very debilitating disease known as Alzheimer’s.  It has to be one of the most frustrating, puzzling, and heart-breaking diseases one can experience.

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Marriage & Money: 4 Ideas To Improve Both

Money is one of the leading causes of divorce and for some couples, it is at the center of almost every fight.  Money is no small part of our lives, and therefore no small part of our marriages.  So how can we handle money better with our spouses?

Great ideas on how to talk about and improve your finances!

Whether you fight about money, try your best to ignore it, or manage it well, here are 4 key ideas to help improve both your marriage and your finances.

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I Like Being Around My Wife Again!

It’s so crazy. I am the one who teaches on conflict and how to resolve it. I do this every day of the week! And yet when I am in conflict it is still hard even for me and brings a multitude of emotions.  Here’s what I mean:

How to work through conflict with your spouse.

One day last week, my wife and one of my girls began to talk with me about something in me they didn’t understand and were frustrated about. We talked for almost an hour. I had all kinds of emotions. When they first brought it up, I felt kind of attacked–not hugely, but kinda.

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4 Steps To Love Better In Conflict

I know of couples who straight out go for the jugular when they fight with each other. Emotions escalate and so do they. Then there are those who are split: one wants to get to the bottom of things NOW and the other does everything they can to run the other direction. And finally, there are those couples in which neither party really wants to engage, so they both tend to put off dealing with conflict. Zerrin and I tend to fall more in this last camp. Here are some action steps to take regardless of how you deal with conflict:

4 Steps to Love Better while in conflict. Must print for later! http://madlyinlove.org/4-steps-love-better-conflict/

Step #1: Consider Your Conflict Style

Why do you tend to deal with conflict the way you do? What good (or bad) examples have you learned from? These are very important questions to ask. They can lead to much personal insight. The more you clarify why, the more power you will have to change.

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Feed the Positive Dog!

This is a guest blog by someone I have known for nearly 35 years. She is an amazing woman, a best friend, and…MY WIFE, Zerrin Oelze!

feed the positive dog

Jon Gordon, in his book The Positive Dog, talks about two imaginary dogs within us: one positive and one negative. Gordon explains these two dogs often fight inside us, but the one that wins is the one we feed the most. We have a choice in which dog we are going to feed!

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