3 Things Graduation Teaches All Of Us

There’s nothing quite like that moment when you see your son, daughter, or spouse walk across the stage and you are filled with pride for all they have accomplished. This year I watched one of my children do that very thing. It was the ninth time I felt those feelings whelm up inside. It was amazing!

graduation

Accompanying the experience of graduating from any level of education, or from one area of life into another, the question looms: Where to from here?

Keep the following three ideas in mind and you won’t go wrong:

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When Your Spouse Says They Don’t Love You Anymore

I received a call from someone wanting counseling for their marriage. They were desperate, not knowing what to do. Their marriage was fine – so they thought – up until recently when their spouse informed them things were over. The reason given?  “I don’t love you anymore!”

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I have had that call on many occasions.

What was to be my advice? Why does this happen? What can you do when this occurs or if you find yourself feeling this way?

Three facts to keep in mind about feelings:

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For Men Only: Is It Ok For Us To Be Emotional?

Recently Zerrin and I spent some very rich time with some good friends. As we conversed, the husband began to share he felt as though his life no longer had purpose. We talked about challenges they faced, the season of life they were in, and questions about God. I wanted to encourage my brother, but experienced a growing frustration inside of me because nothing I said seemed to have any impact.

Men ok emotional?

Then something happened that came out of no where. Torrents of emotions were stirred in me and I began to weep! Through my tears I managed to tell him how much of a difference he has made in my life and how much I need him and how difficult it would be to go on in life if I knew that he wasn’t still running the race as I am.

Then, in the midst of my tears, I found myself wondering what my friends and my wife were thinking about me as I was crying. Was it OK? Or did they see me as weak?

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4 Reasons Why I Wrote A Book

Well in case you missed it – we are SO excited that we are FINALLY nearing the launch of my book entitled The PLEDGE of a Lifetime! If you missed our announcement and exciting ways to get involved, go HERE. In fact, we would love for you to help us get the word out by joining one of three teams. By doing so we will send you a FREE pdf copy of the book and an invite to our launch party! Go HERE to learn how you can become a part of the team!

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Over the next few weeks I am going to be writing about the book, and answer a few questions you might have.

Today I want to tell you WHY I wrote it.

Every day I awake, I thank God for another day of life–and I seek to spend it most purposefully. I am acutely aware that life is fleeting–we have no promise of tomorrow. Because of that I want to do my best to make each day count the most.

So why spend hundreds of hours writing a book? Four reasons:

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7 Things to Practice As You Deal With The Small Stuff

At a lunch last week I heard a man speak about keeping “short accounts” with his wife – meaning they would talk about most everything that created disharmony in their relationship – even if it was simply an unkind or harsh tone of voice. Does that sound absurd? I hope not. It is probably one of the healthiest aspects of marriage if done well.

7 Tips for Conflict

Here are 7 ideas to keep in mind:

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Why resolving a problem might be the worst thing to do!

Recently I tried to help a husband understand why his wife was frustrated and hurt. I worked hard to help him be able to see things from her perspective. He didn’t get it. I tried explaining it two or three different ways and he still didn’t get it. I used an example in his own life that would have been very similar in nature to the frustration his wife was feeling. Finally, it seemed as though it began to click. He turned slightly towards his wife to say that it “kinda made sense.” Then he turned back to me and said in a somewhat frustrated tone of voice: “I could have said that a long time ago, but that doesn’t solve anything.”

Resolving problem

And I had a light bulb moment!

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Will You Remember?

My wife started out praying today thanking God for the beauty of the creation around us, for eyes to see and ears to hear. She expressed gratitude for our nation and the freedom and security that we still experience today. While listening to her I was aware of feeling a bit guilty. As she was expressing her sincere gratitude to God I realized I hadn’t even thought about doing so.

Will You Remember

How often I forget.

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Why is communication so hard?

Recently as we dropped into bed at midnight, I remembered to tell Zerrin that in the morning two pastors were coming over to the house to talk about us doing a conference with them sometime next year. Her response was: “In the morning?” and then she sighed and rolled over while we went to sleep. Early the next morning I heard my wife scurrying about in the kitchen. I got up and started some stretching when it occurred that I might ask:  “Anything I can do to help?”

Why is communication so hard

With a mixture of frustration and teasing that only my wife can pull off, she said she was fine–although gonna be later getting to school than she wanted to because she had a husband who tells her things at the last minute which meant spending an extra 20 minutes cleaning up before she left the house. My response?  Not the best…read on!

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When your spouse reacts…keep four ideas in mind:

No doubt we have all heard our spouse start a sentence with: “You ALWAYS…” or “You NEVER…”  Truth be known, we have probably all said those words ourselves. I remember once, telling Zerrin I was frustrated about her using those words when she talks to me, only to find myself doing the same thing on a walk with her only one hour later. Ugh! I hate it when that happens! What do we do?

dodgeball

Remember dodgeball!

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Make This Moment Count!

I remember feeling a pain deep inside, when just days after my first child had arrived I had to go to work. It just didn’t seem right. There she was, the most precious gift God had given Zerrin and I–a very real part of me–and I had to say good-bye.

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From that day forward I would increasingly experience an unexplainable mix of joy and pain inside my heart between wanting to hold on to her forever and letting her go. I have felt that mixture of emotions every day for 28 years not only with Brittany, but again with my son Micah, and my second daughter Taya.

How do we enjoy the time we have with our spouse and children, while knowing our time is limited?

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