Ok, so permit me if you will to come at this from somewhat of a humorous perspective albeit a bit dry. For those of you who might learn more readily from hearing what NOT to do, here are 6 sure fire ways to create horrible communication between you and your spouse or children:
1. Start off with the proper mindset: you and your thoughts are what matter! Don’t get side tracked by what your spouse is saying. They don’t care about you. They are only trying to use and take advantage of you. So be careful and don’t forget: YOU are number one!
2. Attack and accuse. The better and faster you get at this, the better you take your enemy–oops, I mean your spouse–off guard. When it comes to conflict, you can’t afford to be timid. Show no mercy!
3. Don’t try to understand your enemy (crud, I mean spouse again!)–that is a sign of weakness. You know you are right and that is all that matters.
4. Interrupt whenever you can. Sometimes the other party gets the upper hand. That was your first mistake–it should never have happened in the first place. BUT if it does, don’t worry. Just interrupt and keep talking until they have to get quiet. Do this as often as needed–they will eventually get the point and let you talk.
5. Never appreciate the other’s perspective. Why should you? Remember we already determined that you are always right. Enough said. Now get on to the last one. It is really important.
6. DO NOT LET YOUR HEART SOFTEN–not even for a moment! If you do, you risk losing everything. Remember all that hard work you have done to maintain the upper hand and win? You could lose it all in a moment of weakness. Stay strong! Don’t allow yourself to feel, unless of course what you are feeling is anger and hurt for all the ways in which you have been wronged. In that case bring them on! Feel them to the fullest and let your spouse know exactly how you feel! Describe them as clearly as possible, using whatever colorful language you can imagine. After all, you are supposed to be honest, right?
Congratulations! By following the above 6 principles you stand the greatest chance of winning the conflict!
But, there is one other thing: you also stand the greatest chance of losing the relationship with your spouse and children!
Question: Where do you want to win–in the conflict? or in the marriage? You can leave a comment by clicking here.