A few weeks back I wrote a post about it only taking 47 seconds to a better marriage. Recently I discovered how to get that down to 17 seconds! Read more to learn how and ways to grow closer even when the pressures of life tend to push you apart:
So back to making the bed again–something I don’t particularly look forward to. When I stopped grumbling about it, I realized it only took 47 seconds of my day.That helped. THEN one day my wife and I did it together and it only took 17 seconds! Less than half of what it took for me to do it by myself. ONLY 17 seconds!
And that got me thinking:
How many other things could we be doing together as couples that would get done faster as a result and even SAVE time for both of us in the process? What other benefits might come from working together more on projects than separately?
The answers to both of those questions were not hard to come by.
- we would have more connect time
- we would learn more about each other and each other’s worlds
- we could learn to appreciate each other more
- we could learn and experience more about being on the same team
- we would help alleviate the sense of aloneness that either of us might have in facing our challenges on our own
- we might even laugh more!
The potential list?
- cleaning the house
- handling the finances
- serving together be it in a church, volunteer organization, or for family in need
- tending the yard and landscaping
- running errands
- grocery shopping
- sorting mail
- homework with children
- dealing with the schools
- buying presents
- planning dates, holidays, vacations
- financial planning
- major purchases
- doing the taxes
- and much more!
When asking for help:
If we wanted help from a neighbor to repair a fence, we wouldn’t say: “For crying out loud–can’t you see I need some help over here? Are you blind or something? You are so insensitive! Haven’t you ever heard of “loving your neighbor?”
We wouldn’t talk like that to someone who lives next door that we barely know or care for, so why would we talk like that to the one who lives with us that we know and love intimately?
Far better to simply and kindly ask: “honey can you help me with _________________” (fill in the blank.)
This latter option might even include: “I am really frustrated about the amount of work there is to do around here…honey can you help me with ____________.” The big difference between this plea and the example above with the neighbor, is the absence of personal attack. Pointing out a frustration, even complaining is one thing; demeaning comments in the mix are quite another. The latter will NEVER (and I almost never say never!) bring about a positive connection in the relationship.
Sometimes we all miss the obvious.
Whether it takes 17 seconds or 17 minutes, tackle life together as a husband and wife team. After all, isn’t that kinda what we signed up for in the first place?
Question: What can you do with your spouse this weekend? You can leave a comment by clicking here.