My New Book is NOW AVAILABLE!

We are excited to announce the book is now available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats and on our website for a discounted price!! 

GET YOUR COPY HERE!

The book is called The PLEDGE of a Lifetime and walks through the proven step-by-step process we teach on how to talk through any type of conflict in order to return to a deep sense of love and connection. Learn more…

We Are Going to Asia to Teach on Marriage!

This is a bit of a different take on our regular blog on marriage. Normally I write about ways in which you can grow in your marriage and relationships. I hope you permit me to share just a bit about an opportunity that has come our way to ask for your support and encouragement. I realize some of our readers may not be followers of Christ. That is OK – glad you are still interested in doing what you can to invest in your marriage! For the rest of you who are followers of Christ, we would appreciate your prayers as well as any financial support you would be able to give!

We have been asked by a respected Christian mission to Asia for the past 25 years to go to Asia this summer to mentor, counsel, and teach on marriage and family. The vast majority of church leaders in Asia are struggling greatly in their marriages because of long periods of separation due to persecution or traveling to evangelize. Asian church leaders they have introduced us to have expressed that they believe the teaching/writing we have done on communicating in love and conflict resolution is cross-cultural and would be very helpful to our Asian brothers and sisters.

A Great Opportunity

We have accepted this invitation, believing for a number of reasons that God has orchestrated it. At each of three different locations we will spend four days training, counseling, and mentoring leaders to further the work there with marriages and families. In one place we will be teaching the top leaders of a church movement of thousands of churches, where 90% of its leaders’ marriages are very unhealthy! We are humbled, sobered, and excited all at the same time.

One of the Asian leaders who is asking us to come, is hopeful not only about marriages being healed, but about the lasting effect this will have in drawing others to Christ.

Want To Hear More?

If you would like to connect and hear more, before putting this letter aside, mark your calendar and plan to join Zerrin and I at our home, Thursday night, April 30th from 7:00 – 8:00 for dessert and a time of further sharing about our trip.  Please RSVP through phone, email, or Facebook. Also watch Facebook for a prayer time in June before we leave.

We are raising funds and a prayer team for this trip and invite you to partner with us in both areas. In the natural it seems a formidable task but we are stepping out in faith to live not in the natural but the supernatural! We need to raise an additional $5,000.00 for the trip. This will cover the expenses for both Zerrin and I, $2500 each, including int’l round-trip flights, flights and travel in Asia, hotels when needed, meals, etc. The first half ($2500) we need by May 1 and the remainder by June 1. Gifts exceeding the funds required for this trip will be donated to needs in Asia.

Whether you are able to donate or not, we would love to have you be a part of our prayer team to get updates over the coming weeks and while in Asia. Please send us your email for updates.

Thank you for considering this. In all reality, we cannot do this without you, and frankly we don’t want to. Knowing many are behind us and cheering us on in prayer will be a great source of strength and encouragement.

Because of Him,

Mark & Zerrin Oelze

Having The Same Fight Over and Over? Here’s why: (Part 2)

No doubt you have experienced the dining decision dilemma. You know, the one where she says: “where do you want to go out to eat?”

And he says: “Oh anywhere is fine with, me. Where do you want to go?”

Her response: “Oh I am ok wherever we go.”

Him: “Really?”

Her: “Really.”

Him: “How about the barbecue out on old route 30?”

Her: (you know what’s coming!) “Oh – I don’t want to go there again. Besides I am really not in the mood for barbecue!”

And he simply does not know what to say or do next!

Same Fight (part 2)

In my last blog, I introduced the idea proposed by John Gottman, that nearly 70% of the problems we experience as couples, are likely perpetual in nature. Whether it is a minor issue like where we go to eat, or a much larger issue like how to parent a rebellious child, these are problem areas that might cause conflict between us as husband and wife again and again.

Having The Same Fight Over and Over? Here’s why:

I’m not sure when it really hit me, but there it was: we were having the same conflict again that we did the week before. And the week before that, and even the one before that! What was going on? Why did we keep fighting over the same thing?

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Being a counselor who is trained to analyze complex situations, I had to figure this one out. What I eventually discovered was transformational to my marriage.

3 Things To Do When Your Friends Are Facing Divorce

On a number of occasions I have heard someone say to me, “Did you hear about so and so? They are getting a divorce!” And every time, it grieves me. When I ask what they have done to help, they most often say something like: “Oh I couldn’t help. I wouldn’t know what to do.” I am even more saddened after that!

3 Things When Facing Divorce

There is always at least something we can do. Here are some ideas:

For Men Only: Is It Ok For Us To Be Emotional?

Recently Zerrin and I spent some very rich time with some good friends. As we conversed, the husband began to share he felt as though his life no longer had purpose. We talked about challenges they faced, the season of life they were in, and questions about God. I wanted to encourage my brother, but experienced a growing frustration inside of me because nothing I said seemed to have any impact.

Men ok emotional?

Then something happened that came out of no where. Torrents of emotions were stirred in me and I began to weep! Through my tears I managed to tell him how much of a difference he has made in my life and how much I need him and how difficult it would be to go on in life if I knew that he wasn’t still running the race as I am.

Then, in the midst of my tears, I found myself wondering what my friends and my wife were thinking about me as I was crying. Was it OK? Or did they see me as weak?

Small Group Study Guide for The PLEDGE of A Lifetime!

I have received a number of requests from people wanting further help in using our conference material and now our book, The PLEDGE of a Lifetime, for their small group study.

Small Group Study Guide

Hence this post today–a beginning point for those who dare! I say that partially in jest, and partially not, knowing that talking about real life with others can be a bit uncomfortable. At the same time it affords some of the greatest opportunities for learning. Studying the concepts of PLEDGE in a group can be encouraging to all, as we discover the similarity of our challenges. It also provides an environment where we can learn different perspectives as we share and listen to each other.

Three Men, Three Athletes, and Success in Your Marriage

Do you know any of these three men: David Cutliffe, Patrick Mouratoglou, or Angelo Dundee? What do they have in common with three of the top athletes of the last 60 years in our country? The answer is critical to you accomplishing the greatest desires of your heart.

3 Men

THINK: what is more important than becoming the best possible husband or wife to each other, the greatest parent to your children, and the most love-filled individual to all? Nothing! But how do we get there? To answer that we have to know who the three men are I just mentioned and what their connection is to Peyton Manning, Serena Williams, and Mohammed Ali.

How to get the most out of The PLEDGE of a Lifetime!

When I wrote The PLEDGE of a Lifetime, I knew I wanted to convey a message that would lead couples and ultimately families down a path of rich and remarkable communication. I know there is more–MUCH MORE–we can experience in our relationships because I see it in the lives of couples I work with, and I regularly enjoy it with my wife and children.

3D Book Image_softcover (small)

Zerrin and I just finished up a long weekend with two of our kids home from out of town. Several times we sat for literally hours at a time talking and listening to each other tell about the present story in each of our lives; sharing and teaching each other things we are learning in life and from God; and talking through relational challenges we face at times with each other in order to make our connections as a family even stronger. And this is the norm. I long for others to know the same experience. I believe you can…